Scientists in Norway today announced that they believed that IBS, or Irritable Bowel Syndrome, was the source of major wars and socio-economic crises.

Speaking at an International Conference on World Health Issues (WHI) Kurt Fishmonger a respected Nobel Prize winner and former session musician with 80s pop group Aha, shared research which he and his team have been working on for the past ten years.

According to Fishmonger, Stalin and Hitler both suffered with this little understood illness and that increased irritability may well have been the major cause of their psychopathic tendencies.

Similarly the Wall Street Crash of 1929 was caused by a broker dumping some massive stock after several months painful constipation.

Moreover, increased methane production, a common side effect of IBS was also playing a major factor in global warming he contended, and if unchecked would speed up the melting of the icecaps.

The cure, however is simple. If the Norwegians are to be believed we need to eat more, fish, less refined sugar and white bread, cut down on meat consumption and flagellate ourselves on a regular basis whilst we sit naked in hot saunas.

Ronald Reagan was unavailable for comment.

Posted by damian at July 21, 2004 12:09 PM | TrackBack