Lawyers of the eccentric self styled ‘King of Pop’, Michael Jackson have struck an extraordinary deal with the US courts Mr Damian has discovered.

According to sources in the justice system, if found guilty Jackson has been granted permission to relocate his Neverland ranch on the site of the former Soviet nuclear power station Chernobyl. Jackson’s attorney confirmed that a secret arrangement had been made, “it’s well know that paedos are targeted by other prisoners, and its likely that because of his celebrity status Michael would be even more of a target” they said.

“Therefore we saw only two options, solitary confinement in a federal penitentiary which we thought that Michael’s fragile state would be unable to cope with, or else solitary confinement elsewhere. In these circumstances Chernobyl seemed like the best option – do be honest Michael has as much chance surviving there as he does anywhere else, and at least this way he can still go on the Ferris wheel or vernacular railway every once in a while”.

The Chernobyl nuclear power plant blew up on April 25th 1986. To date it is believed to have caused over 2,500 deaths, marginally more than ‘Scream’ the duet between Michael Jackson and his sister Janet.

Posted by damian at August 09, 2004 09:30 AM | TrackBack