Once again, the U.S legal system has struck a blow for the common man. From the people that brought you ‘objects in the mirror are closer than they appear’ comes a new set of mandatory warnings for mirrors.

The "Hall of Mirrors" a popular feature at many circuses and sideshows will now be mandated by law to carry a warning similar to that on cars.

‘Objects in the mirror are fatter than they appear’ ‘Objects in the mirror are thinner than they appear’ The legislation is certain to help anorexics across the country and anyone who has ever asked “Does my bum look big in this?” The textbook answer to that question is of course “Yes, but it’s just a trick of the light.”

Lawyers are even getting in on the act by advertising on mirrors in public restrooms, the sign below was recently spotted at a rest stop in North Carolina.
‘Can’t see yourself in this mirror? You may be a vampire, call the law firm of Block and Tackle at 1 800 ISUKBLOOD to get the money you deserve.’

The state of Texas has recently passed a law mandating signs reading ‘Gravity causes items to fall towards the ground’ anywhere there is an inherent risk due to gravity including kitchens and bunk beds. A spokesman said, “Now gravity, there be some scary shit. Can’t see it and yer can’t shoot it neither - although God knows I have tried.”

God was unavailable for comment.

Posted by damian at December 11, 2004 05:31 PM | TrackBack