Stories to: story @ mrdamian.com
Comments to: comment @ mrdamian.com
• Puppet Sooty says "I was a crack whore"
• Star Whores III
• Top Ten Burberry Sex Toys
• Does Fast Food Cause Sleep Wanking?
• Burberry to Sponsor Air Force One
• Mr Damian made an OBE
• Top 10 Ways To Freak People Out In Your Office
• Mr Damian encourages readers to knit jumpers for penguins
• Jackson Moonwalks to Freedom
WAP Site
Mr Damian welcomes in the New Year by looking at the stories we're mostly likely to be telling in 2005.
1: Britney Spears will still be married (but not neccesarily to her current husband)
2: Sharon (Osborne) will be the Prime Minister of Israel
3: Scientists will find a way to use future tsunami's to power the Third World for five years at a time, thereby turning tragedy into triumph
4: Former Python, and National Treasure, Michael Palin to be stuffed and put on a plynth in London's Trafalgar Square
5: UK shoppers still wont have a fucking clue how to use chip and pin
No Clue
6:Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley announce peace in Northern Ireland by singing a duet of 'Up Where We Belong' live on National Television
7: Sean Connery revisits Scotland. Realises it's not all he had cracked it up to be. Relocates to the Bahamas for good
8: Diana Ross to play a concert on the moon - doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary
9: Rock band The Darkness suffer from DVT as a result of overtight spandex
10: Bush finally finishes that book
• 'Snakes On A Plane' threatens to take over the world
• Horse Racing Tips for week commencing 29th August 2006
• Mr Damian, w/c Monday 21st August 2006
• Madonna Fans Behaviour Crossed The Borderline
• Saddam accuses his captors of 'clowning around'
• Latest Horse Racing Tips
• Mr Damian w/c Monday 14th August 2006
• This weeks's Horse Racing Tips
• Scary the Clown
• Mr Damian week commencing Monday 7th August 2006
• 'Blair is sick' Number 10 insider tells us
• Most stupid scientific discovery of the week
• Gibson hopes to make the cut
• Mr Damian week commencing Monday 31st July 2006
