Stories to: story @ mrdamian.com

Comments to: comment @ mrdamian.com
 Most Popular
• Official: Ginger people are more ugly
• Puppet Sooty says "I was a crack whore"
• Star Whores III
• Top Ten Burberry Sex Toys
• Does Fast Food Cause Sleep Wanking?
• Burberry to Sponsor Air Force One
• Mr Damian made an OBE
• Top 10 Ways To Freak People Out In Your Office
• Mr Damian encourages readers to knit jumpers for penguins
• Jackson Moonwalks to Freedom

WAP Site

April 06, 2005
Bush nominates Rumsfeld to be next Pope

Thousands of Catholics from around the world are making their way to Rome in order to pay their last respects to Pope John Paul II before he is laid to rest this forthcoming Friday.



Vatican officials claim that each hour 18,000 people are filing past the pontiff as he lies in state, with an expected two million pilgrims expected in the country by the end of the week.

However, whilst press attention is focussed on this public outpouring of grief, behind the scenes a bitter battle is taking place as to who will succeed the late Pope John Paul II to the Papal Seat.

Historically, the process is a complicated one, involving all the cardinals from across the globe descending on the Sistine Chapel to vote for their next Pope.

This conclave, as it is known, is a tradition which dates back for hundreds of years, and Pope-watchers have been claiming publicly that there is currently no front runner to take up the top post.

Until now.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Red, AND, Dead

Mr Damian understands that fresh after installing former US Deputy Secretary of Defence Paul Wolfowitz as Head of the World Bank, the White House are now in the process of trying to get US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld elected Pope.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Rumsfeld – he could be Pope ‘just like that’

It’s understood that the President has been campaigning hard for his man, viewing his man as the logical next choice for this important spiritual role.

As one Presidential advisor told us, 'being Pope is not just about religion, it’s a political role too, and we see Rummie being Pope as a great way to deliver American foreign policy objectives.’

If he does secure this new role this will mark a real change in direction for a man previously described by Henry Kissinger as ‘the most ruthless man I have ever met.’

Moreover, the move will change the answer to the old adage ‘is the Pope catholic?’ With Rummie in charge nobody will be quite sure.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Cooper

Donald Rumsfeld once wrestled a grizzly bear to the floor in a crowded public bar.

He is a big fan of the British comedian Tommy Cooper.

Posted by damian at April 06, 2005 10:31 AM
 MORE TOP STORIES
• Mr Damian w/c Tuesday 29th August 2006
• 'Snakes On A Plane' threatens to take over the world
• Horse Racing Tips for week commencing 29th August 2006
• Mr Damian, w/c Monday 21st August 2006
• Madonna Fans Behaviour Crossed The Borderline
• Saddam accuses his captors of 'clowning around'
• Latest Horse Racing Tips
• Mr Damian w/c Monday 14th August 2006
• This weeks's Horse Racing Tips
• Scary the Clown
• Mr Damian week commencing Monday 7th August 2006
• 'Blair is sick' Number 10 insider tells us
• Most stupid scientific discovery of the week
• Gibson hopes to make the cut
• Mr Damian week commencing Monday 31st July 2006
What The Critics Say

Accolades

 Archives
Reciprocals
 America


• Madonna Fans Behaviour Crossed The Borderline
• Bush asks Macgyver to 'do his duty'
• Will Jenna be 'Top of the Puppies'?
• Bush to unveil 'radical new excuse' for Guantanamo
 Compilation Albums


• The Best Paul McCartney vs Heather Mills Album In The World Ever! Volume II
• The Best Paul McCartney vs Heather Mills Album In The World Ever
•  The Best Tony's Got To Go Soon, Surely, Album in the World Ever... IV
• The Best Tsunami Disaster Album in the World...Ever! Volume II !
 Media & Entertainment


• 'Snakes On A Plane' threatens to take over the world
• Scary the Clown
• Gibson hopes to make the cut
• Attenborough doing fine after emergency surgery
 Music


• Sneak peek at Paris Hilton's new album
• Top Music Gossip
• Latest Music Gossip
• Glitter goes down - and this time it's legal
 Puppets & Fairy Tales


• Emily and Bagpuss - is it really over?
• The Big Bad Wolf Could Not Have Blown The House Down Scientist Claims
• Humpty Dumpty: A Tragic Accident, Or Murder?
• Teletubbies go on Atkins
 Sport


• Horse Racing Tips for week commencing 29th August 2006
• Latest Horse Racing Tips
• This weeks's Horse Racing Tips
• I had a dream...
 UK News


• 'Blair is sick' Number 10 insider tells us
• UK News Round Up
• Royal Mail to be sold off for the price of a stamp
• UK News roundup
 World News


• Saddam accuses his captors of 'clowning around'
• G8 to get rebrand
• Daniels attempts new endurance record
• Great White Hop

Copyright and Legal Stuff
Mr Damian is not a member of ABTA, but then again neither are you. All rights are reserved, but reservations will only be held for 30 minutes. This website is for external use only. In the event of direct contact with eyes, please rinse with lukewarm water for 6 years, and avoid any exposure to sunlight or the music of Duran Duran.
mrdamian.com is the registered trademark of the Coco Cola Corporation and any infringement of copyright will see you slapped repeatedly with a wet herring.
For further information on the fifth disciple or the owner of this website please consult your local barber shop quartet. Failing that, get a life.

OK, but seriously folks..
DISCLAIMER: The pictures found on this page are believed to be in the public domain. If you have legal right to any of these images and want them removed email mrdamian and they will be removed immediately.
Credits: Thanks to Tomski, Mark and Dina for their help with this shite. Er, I mean site...

Free DHTML scripts provided by
Dynamic Drive

Syndicate this site(XML) go on you know you want to
Powered by
Movable Type 3.15 Hosted by Nexcess.net