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April 11, 2005
Tory leader to deport himself if elected Prime Minister
Posted by damian at April 11, 2005 10:16 PM
Conservative leader Michael Howard has launched his party's manifesto as the UK General Election starts to hot up.
 Howard took questions from journalists at the launch | The Tory who previously served under Margaret Thatcher - although not in the biblical sense - told reporters that 'the electorate faces a real choice' when they go to the polls on May 5th. 'They can either vote for five more years of smirking, or they can vote for a party which will deliver cleaner hospitals, more police, school discipline, controlled immigration, lower taxes and accountability.' Soho's sexworkers, who have long had a successful business arrangement with members of the Tory party welcome an increase in discipline, but it's the issue of immigration which is attracting the most attention. |
According to at least one expert, Mr Howard, 63, could find himself deported if his party's policies are successfully carried out, although it's not clear if this fact - until now kept secret - is part of the Tories electoral strategy or not. Labour party chiefs in particular have expressed a worry that this knowledge would simply encourage more people to vote Conservative. 'It's very clever,' one source told us, 'vote Tory and you guarentee getting rid of Howard forever, which is great. However you do get a Tory Government for four years, which is not so great. We haven't been in this much of a quandry since Clause 4.' Michael Howard declined to comment. He was busy crying at Sleepless in Seattle. The big girl. |  Not a sex worker, but we wish she was |
Posted by damian at April 11, 2005 10:16 PM
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