Office life can be dull and boring, so here's ten tips to keep everyone, including you on your toes. Scientifically proven to help you live longer.

Mr Damian's Top 10 Ways To Freak People Out In Your Office

1: Send emails to everyone in your address book telling them to ignore your last message, the problem is now solved.

2: Have a picture of a random wife and child on your desk, then when you're quizzed about them confess you don't know who these people are.

3: Wear fancy dress every friday.

4: Eat your packed lunch on the john.

5: Change your name daily.

6: Change your name to daley.

Learning to dance like Brent is so 2004

7: If you write with your right hand, takes notes in meetings with your left hand. Your writing will be big, slow, and childlike - and if anyone gives you a funny look point out that you're learning to write left-handed 'just in case'.

8: To enable you to do this - have a glove puppet on your writing hand.

9: Genuflect everytime you talk to your boss or they walk past.

10: Start every meeiting you chair with a rousing rendition of the French National Anthem.

Posted by damian at May 25, 2005 11:50 AM