Controversial singer Marilyn Manson was gunned down this morning by a group of angry swans who then proceeded to wander through the streets showing off his stuffed body as a trophy of war, Mr Damian reports.

The incident, which took place outside a faux Gothic Castle somewhere in California, USA, is said to be a revenge attack following a recent Swan related gift given by Manson to his girlfriend - the burlesque artist - Dita von Teese.

Manson - even in death he was still weird

As was widely reported in a number of newspapers, Manson recently bought his taxidermy loving honey two stuffed swans who were about to copulate. It's understood that his murder was revenge by the swan community for this perceived insult.

The attack comes just three weeks since a group of swans admitted having been involved in the murder of legendary rapper Tupac Shakur, and a week after the British Monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, admitted that she had hired a group of swans as her private bodyguards.

Pretty darn vicious I should say

'What this shows is that the animals are fighting back' said pop culture guru Paris Hilton, 'we ignore their feelings at our peril'.

Paris Hilton was tucking into a swan terrine when she spoke to us, and was last seen being chased down Rodeo Drive by a pack of angry swans baying for her E-list celebrity blood.

Frank Sinatra was unavailable for comment.

Posted by damian at July 31, 2005 04:05 PM