UK Soldiers in Iraq are to be interviewed by the Ministry of Defence after allegations that Government property has been used for inappropriate activities.

A photograph passed to Mr Damian by a smoking man in a dark mac in a dimly lit public car park, shows that RAF Tornado fighter planes are being used by soldiers who have a passion for extreme water ski-ing.

'This is not appropriate use of Government property' an MOD spokesman told us, 'nevermind also being highly dangerous.'

The fast and the furiously wet

Boyo
One soldier, who wished to remain nameless (although his real name is Corporal Jeff Jones from Cardiff) told us that video games were to blame.

'When we're not shooting innocent civilians we get bored' he said, 'so lots of the boys kill time playing computer games.' For many of the Corporal's colleagues the lines between reality and the gaming world are becoming increasingly blurred.

'It's not uncommon for female soldiers to dress in their spare time as Lara Croft,' he added 'or for others to play real life Grand Theft Auto on the streets of Baghdad. It's bloddy madness,' he said shaking his head in a drug fuelled mixture of shame and confusion.

'This is very worrying' one Minister told us. 'The next thing you know we'll be playing Frogger in the Balkans and Doom with the Afghans.'

Still no sign of Osama...

Posted by damian at December 02, 2005 02:32 PM