The good news is that he's not going to be making any new records for a while, but the bad news is that Sting and his wife Trudy are gong to be setting up a new business acting as life coaches to the stars. 'All our friends are always asking for our advise anyway,' the talentless one said, 'so it made sense to start charging them for it.' Good to see that the Spirit of Christmas is still very much alive at Sting Towers. Unsurprisingly Robbie Williams is already said to have signed up as their first client, with Vanessa Feltz and Kerry Katona supposedly also very interested.

Smug free zone

Unholy
Despite her name, Charlotte Church doesn't go to Church. 'I don't believe all that religious crap' she told us, 'anyway I'd probably just get wrecked on the communion wine.' Indeed.

Pussy
Atomic Kitten are said to be getting back together to do a series of charity gigs in order to raise money for victims of the Tsunami which struck Asia last Christmas. The concerts will be held in major cities across the region, as the girls were keen that the concerts happened in the areas which had been affected.

Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not

'We wanted to do something for all the children who suffered last year,' they said.

I'd have though they'd suffered enough. Let's just hope they have the good taste not to do one of their biggest hits: their version of the Blondie classic 'The Tide Is High'.

Miaow
The Pussycat Dolls are are neither Pussycats or Dolls, a mole tells us, but a bunch of transsexual hookers who got spotted in a bar in Taiwan by an as yet unnamed music svengali.

'They can't believe their luck,' a friend told me.

Mr Damian can't believe it either.

Those jawlines are a dead giveaway...

Posted by damian at December 09, 2005 01:00 PM