Stories to: story @ mrdamian.com

Comments to: comment @ mrdamian.com
 Most Popular
• Official: Ginger people are more ugly
• Puppet Sooty says "I was a crack whore"
• Star Whores III
• Top Ten Burberry Sex Toys
• Does Fast Food Cause Sleep Wanking?
• Burberry to Sponsor Air Force One
• Mr Damian made an OBE
• Top 10 Ways To Freak People Out In Your Office
• Mr Damian encourages readers to knit jumpers for penguins
• Jackson Moonwalks to Freedom

WAP Site

December 16, 2005
Big Computer Virus Set To Hit This Christmas

As the press reports that computer hackers are preparing one of the biggest attacks on the Internet ever attempted this Christmas, Mr Damian has all the latest news on how to protect your PC from being infected from Trojan and spyware programmes, as well as advice on what to do if you find your computer does have a virus.

Firstly, be sensible with the sites you visit, the emails you read and forward on, as well as those you reply to.

In particular:

1. Gentlemen, material from those sites selling personal growth products, you know the ones we mean, don't work. And the sites are dodgy too.

2. No you didn't enter the Nigerian Lottery and simply forget where you put your ticket. You didn't enter. You haven't won. Get over it. Don't reply to the email. Idiot.

3. The sex/love/money fairy won't visit you if you forward this message to six friends.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Computers get ill too

If you are going to do such a thing, get a firewall, anti spyware program and up-to-date anti-virus services in place, these are usually free, and if you don't know what any of these things are you should take your computer back to the store and ask for your money back as you clearly don't deserve to have one.

Nor should you be allowed to procreate or vote, but we don't have much say on that one, so there you go.


If you find that your computer does have a virus, make sure that you keep your machine warm and give it lots of fluids. You may also want to call out a Doctor, but be warned, this can take time especially over busy times such as Christmas.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com Busy boy


And if you do get a new PC this festive season, remember a computer is for life, not just for Christmas, so do take good care of it.

Posted by damian at December 16, 2005 02:05 PM
 MORE TOP STORIES
• Mr Damian w/c Tuesday 29th August 2006
• 'Snakes On A Plane' threatens to take over the world
• Horse Racing Tips for week commencing 29th August 2006
• Mr Damian, w/c Monday 21st August 2006
• Madonna Fans Behaviour Crossed The Borderline
• Saddam accuses his captors of 'clowning around'
• Latest Horse Racing Tips
• Mr Damian w/c Monday 14th August 2006
• This weeks's Horse Racing Tips
• Scary the Clown
• Mr Damian week commencing Monday 7th August 2006
• 'Blair is sick' Number 10 insider tells us
• Most stupid scientific discovery of the week
• Gibson hopes to make the cut
• Mr Damian week commencing Monday 31st July 2006
What The Critics Say

Accolades

 Archives
Reciprocals
 America


• Madonna Fans Behaviour Crossed The Borderline
• Bush asks Macgyver to 'do his duty'
• Will Jenna be 'Top of the Puppies'?
• Bush to unveil 'radical new excuse' for Guantanamo
 Compilation Albums


• The Best Paul McCartney vs Heather Mills Album In The World Ever! Volume II
• The Best Paul McCartney vs Heather Mills Album In The World Ever
•  The Best Tony's Got To Go Soon, Surely, Album in the World Ever... IV
• The Best Tsunami Disaster Album in the World...Ever! Volume II !
 Media & Entertainment


• 'Snakes On A Plane' threatens to take over the world
• Scary the Clown
• Gibson hopes to make the cut
• Attenborough doing fine after emergency surgery
 Music


• Sneak peek at Paris Hilton's new album
• Top Music Gossip
• Latest Music Gossip
• Glitter goes down - and this time it's legal
 Puppets & Fairy Tales


• Emily and Bagpuss - is it really over?
• The Big Bad Wolf Could Not Have Blown The House Down Scientist Claims
• Humpty Dumpty: A Tragic Accident, Or Murder?
• Teletubbies go on Atkins
 Sport


• Horse Racing Tips for week commencing 29th August 2006
• Latest Horse Racing Tips
• This weeks's Horse Racing Tips
• I had a dream...
 UK News


• 'Blair is sick' Number 10 insider tells us
• UK News Round Up
• Royal Mail to be sold off for the price of a stamp
• UK News roundup
 World News


• Saddam accuses his captors of 'clowning around'
• G8 to get rebrand
• Daniels attempts new endurance record
• Great White Hop

Copyright and Legal Stuff
Mr Damian is not a member of ABTA, but then again neither are you. All rights are reserved, but reservations will only be held for 30 minutes. This website is for external use only. In the event of direct contact with eyes, please rinse with lukewarm water for 6 years, and avoid any exposure to sunlight or the music of Duran Duran.
mrdamian.com is the registered trademark of the Coco Cola Corporation and any infringement of copyright will see you slapped repeatedly with a wet herring.
For further information on the fifth disciple or the owner of this website please consult your local barber shop quartet. Failing that, get a life.

OK, but seriously folks..
DISCLAIMER: The pictures found on this page are believed to be in the public domain. If you have legal right to any of these images and want them removed email mrdamian and they will be removed immediately.
Credits: Thanks to Tomski, Mark and Dina for their help with this shite. Er, I mean site...

Free DHTML scripts provided by
Dynamic Drive

Syndicate this site(XML) go on you know you want to
Powered by
Movable Type 3.15 Hosted by Nexcess.net