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The FA this week agreed that England Manager Sven Goran Eriksson would stand down after the World Cup this summer after Mr Damian revealed that the philandering Swede didn't know the off side rule.
Eriksson, who has managed the England team since 2001, was exposed following an undercover sting operation by our reporter Mohammed Mamussar, who pretended to be an Arab Sheik who wined and dined the manager in the glitzy middle eastern city of Dubai.
 Philandering Sven always knew where his balls were |
Despite the revelations, which were coupled with criticism of England players and a lengthy discussion around Ulrika Johnson's inability to commit, Eriksson is confident that he will be able to pick up another top football job after the World Cup.
Indeed, when we spoke to him earlier this morning he was in a playful mood. 'What do you get if you cross an Arab with a Cow?' he asked. We confessed we didn't know. |
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'A milk sheik,' the seemingly dry multi-millionaire quipped.
Current speculation suggests that Eriksson might manage anyone from AC Milan to Bognor Regis, with others not ruling out a career as a television summariser.
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Prospective replacements touted by the papers include everyone from Martin O'Neill to Kenny Dalglish.
Let's hope they understand the off side rule better than Sven, and look as good first thing in the morning as Ulrikakakakakaka. |
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