It's been a bad week for Tony Blair, one of the worst since he became President.

Health
Firstly there was the booing and slow hand-clapped by nurses at a conference in Bournemouth where Nurses were angered by the suggestion they had had big pay rises and debts were confined to a minority of health trusts.

'In retrospect,' TB told us, 'James Hewitt probably wasn't the right man for the job - perhaps I should have sent his sister Patricia instead.'

Shagging
The press were incredulous at the revelation that Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott had enjoyed an affair with one his secretaries.

Like most people, we couldn't work out how it had happened.

As one commentator told me down the pub, 'if he can get laid how come I can't?'

Quite.

Clerical Errors
Tony Blair is being urged to resign after he admitted appointing a number of Ministers who should have been kept on the backbenches.

The PM insisted he could sort the problem out, but Tory David Davis and Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell said the Government had failed to protect the public from incompetence and sleaze.

In his defence the Prime Minister blamed it on a combination of the Civil Service, the Beatles splitting up, peanuts (the snack,) peanuts (the cartoon strip,) noise pollution, lack of respect for elders, a sprained wrist and Germany invading Poland in 1939.

'Without these things this might never have happend,' he said. 'Honest, you can trust me, I'm the Prime Minister, and I go to Church and believe in God and everything.'

Posted by damian at April 28, 2006 05:50 PM