Wayne Rooney will find out today if he is to play a part in England's forthcoming bid for World Cup glory when he get's the result of a recent scan.

The whole nation has been gripped by the plight of the strikers metatarsal, after he suffered an injury in Manchester United's 3-0 defeat by Chelsea at the end of last month.

Rooney in his first suit, before he knicked the sign

Press coverage in recent days suggest the outcome of the scan will be favourable, however Mr Damian has discovered that the tests have revealed some previously unknown problems which could affect Rooney's progress.

Specialists are expected to announce a full recovery of Rooney's foot, but that an incorrect MRI scan - which analysed the strikers head instead of his ankle - showed a large hole where the United star's brain should be.

Doctors are working round the clock to identify whether this problem is a new one or not, and in turn whether this absence of brain function will affect Rooney's football prowess.

England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson is understood to feel that the answer doesn't matter so long as Rooney is run, kick and sleep with prostitutes. 'Everything suggests he remains capable of all of these things,' a source in the FA said.

Rooney's ball control didn't impress Coleen 

It's understood that Dr Mike Stone, the Manchester United Doctor who left the club under a myserious cloud earlier this week, was keen to reveal Rooney's empty headnesses to the press, a difference of opinion which led to his departure.

United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has however admitted that Rooney recently underwent cosmetic surgery to remove two bolts from either side of his neck. 'You can barely see the scars now,' a spokesman said.

The latest news about Rooney could prove to be a real blow

Posted by damian at May 26, 2006 12:10 AM