Critics of the American camp at Guantanamo Bay were celebrating last night after the Supreme Court ruled that President Bush's actions in establishing and maintaining the camp had breached the Geneva Convention.

However Mr Damian can exclusively reveal that these celebrations may be silenced over the weekend when the White House will for the first time unveil the real reason behind Guantanamo.

Officially, the Bush regime have argued that the camp was designed to hold 'enemy combatants' who 'posed a great risk to American security.'

Critics have argued that the camp was deliberately sited on Cuba to avoid coming under US legal jurisdiction, and to avoid criticism of human rights breaches. By classifying inmates as 'enemy combatants' the White House has consistently claimed that they were not bound by the Geneva Convention.

Smokescreen
On Sunday President Bush is expected to announce that all of this has been a fabrication and that the centre at Guantanamo is in fact an enormous reality TV set, set in Cuba to ensure that contestants got a tan. Their infamous Orange jump suits will turn out to have been designed by Giorgio Armani and are tipped to become a 'must have' fashion accessory for the Summer.

A new TV series - The Guantanamo Show - which sought to see how contestants fared in cruelling psycological conditions, is set to air on Fox TV later this year.

Points Mean Prizes
Initial episodes will focus on highlights from the last five years, with viewers encouraged to go online for live streaming. The contestant who cracks last will win 'an out of this world prize,' a spokesman told us.

The announcement is likely to result in a considerable backlash from human rights groups and former inmates who were released before the real reason for their internment was explained to them.

'I've missed out on thousands,' one former intern told Mr Damian, 'all that torture for nothing. I'm gutted.'

The Guantanamo Show starts on Fox TV this Fall.

Posted by damian at June 30, 2006 11:01 AM