The former Conservative minister Tim Yeo today called on Tony Blair's Government to sell off the Royal Mail in order to safeguard the future of the organisation.

Mr Yeo, who served in legendary Major government of the 1990s, says that privatising the service will free up cash reserves which can be used to support an ailing pension fund and ensure that all postman can have their own black and white cat.

Typical British postie, and cat

'It's well known that a bit of pussy can put a smile on anyone's face, and that's especially true for postmen as much as the next man,' Mr Yeo said.

Yeo's proposal is to sell off the Royal Mail via a 'Willy Wonka' style lottery, with winners needing to find one of the five 'golden stamps,' before taking part in a large punch up to decide the overall winner.

Licked
The move is expected to see stamp sales rise, as millions of Britain's try to get their hands on one of the nation's prime assets, securing their financial future - and free postage for life - in the process.

Mr Yeo's idea isn't currently official Conservative policy but he hopes that his headline seeking antics will impress his party leader David Cameron.

Fairy Liquid
'I'd love to be back on the front bench,' Mr Yeo told us, 'and this idea shows that unlike the rest of the party, I'm not washed up.'

Mr Yeo also hinted that he might change his name if it meant place in the Shadow Cabinet. 'I've been thinking of something more youth friendly,' the ex-environment minister said, 'Mr Yo is probably a little more hip don't you think?'

Indeed it is Mr Yeo Yo, indeed it is.

No jokes, just a very phallic looking postbox

Posted by damian at July 10, 2006 08:19 AM