Bearded cardigan wearing businessman Richard Branson is expected in the High Court today over a high profile trade descriptions dispute.

In a legal first, the plaintiff, retired plumber Richard Weeknight from Tunbridge Wells, is suing Mr Branson for time and money spend not travelling on his trains.

“I’ve got family in Liverpool and Manchester” he said “but always thought that I was unfairly excluded from travelling on Bransons’s trains because I am not a virgin. This is prejudical to the sexually active, and therefore on behalf of cherry poppers the UK over I felt I had no option but to sue.”

When Mr Damian explained that this was the name of the company, not an entry (ooh er) qualification for travel, Weeknight in his bizarre Kentish logic said “Well, I wish someone had bloody told me before."

Weeknight is now suing Branson because of his own stupidty. Ringside punters predict an out of court settlement for the Kent man and a column in the Daily Sport, as well as a series of ironic adverts for a whole raft of Virgin products featuring the ever-smiling Branson with his arm around the slightly confused pensioner.

The London bus from Oxford Circus to Shepherd’s Bush Green is the 94.

Posted by damian at May 26, 2004 11:18 AM | TrackBack