Sensational news from the United States where rumours have been rife that Vice President Dick Cheney will be leaving the Republican re-election ticket.

Despite comments from the White House suggesting that Big Dick will be riding it out, others say that the VP has had enough and is bored of the “same old political scene” and wants to “get his pasty white legs out for the ladies”.

Mr Damian understands that when DC leaves DC he will take up a new career in Paris as a dancer with the Moulin Rouge. This may surprise many as Cheney has always had a reputation for being anti-French, however we understand that it’s precisely because of this that he’s joining the legendary burlesque team.

“Dick really wanted to join the all American Pussycat Dolls” explains a friend “but they wouldn’t have him, even when he threatened to buy them several times over, so he decided to stick two fingers up at them and the American people and decided to join the Moulin Rouge instead.”

Another friend told us “he’s been dancing since his last heart attack and finds it a great way to keep in shape. Larry King and Dick can often be found high kicking their way around town after a few beers.”

Nicole Kidman, Larry King and Ewan McGregor were unavailable for comment.

Posted by damian at July 20, 2004 11:33 AM | TrackBack