MV our documentary correspondent writes:

Following the success of Morgan Spurlock’s documentary ‘Supersize Me!’ a mens health group based in the UK is creating a spin off to further their cause.

‘Circumcise Me!’ hopes to inform British men of the benefits of circumcision. It’s now widely accepted that the transmission of a number of sexually transmitted diseases is reduced in men with an al fresco member – as one Doctor told us “them germs have got nowhere to hide”.

With sexual infection rates now at an all time high the group is “quite literally taking matters into their own hands” as spokeswoman Sheila Jackson put it earlier today. Ms Jackson, who also advocates female circumcision “just for the hell of it” also commented that circumcised men are 30% less likely to drive a Ford Escort with tinted windows with a further 55% less likely to be called Darren than those with the spectrum of penile flesh. “Circumcision,” she argues “can therefore be seen to rid society of three evils, not just one.”

The documentary follows a group of penile crusaders as they try to convince men in McDonalds restaurants around the country to trim their luncheon meat.

At least one patron has been caught unawares by the campaign. The legal team for Dave Lyle from Chester released a statement today saying: “Our client thought he was being asked ‘Do you want fries with that’, the actual question was ‘Do you want to be circumcised with that?’ It’s a simple misunderstanding but he feels completely naked without his foreskin.”

In response, Lord Kehee QC who is defending the penile crusaders told us that “an uncircumcised man is a snivelling little baby, but ten times as worse.”

Meanwhile in France groups have been known to terrorise customers in bars across the country shouting “outre de avec leurs têtes” (off with their heads) before dragging unsuspecting men off to the gents where they then do unspeakable things to them.

A rival group however has started to hit back, by running guerrilla campaign designed to stop the documentary from airing across Europe. ‘Fathers for Foreskins’ emphasises that the male member should be left “as God intended”.

Recently scaled, but taking the tablets helped.

Last week protesters scaled the phallic gherkin building in the City of London and unveiled a huge pink tarpaulin at the top.

'Fathers for Foreskins' has been linked with the subversive group ‘Foreskins Against Bush’, a collection of foreskin activists in North America who view themselves as “a cut above the rest” and where circumcision is obligatory for new born babies.

With the rhetoric on both sides kicking up a notch, this may not quite be the Roundheads versus the Cavaliers, but it remains a bloody battle nonetheless.

Posted by damian at October 29, 2004 03:18 PM | TrackBack