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WAP Site

November 03, 2004
Humour swings it for Bush

With the US Presidential election still officially ‘too close to call’ the incumbent, President Bush, has broken ranks to claim victory – not just of the Electoral College but also the popular vote.

The mood in the Democratic camp is a little harder to discern with aides saying that Senator Kerry is looking rather downcast and glum right now. Mr Damian wonders how this is any different from normal.
Kerry – why the long face?

Either way, the count has gone full circle for the challengers after exit polls and a 40 year high turnout suggested good news for the contender.

As analysts pour over the data one trend appears to be clear – namely that the Kerry-Edwards push to “get the vote out” has backfired and resulted in more votes for the incumbent. The question on Democratic lips is ‘who are these people’?

Mr Damian can exclusively reveal that the last minute surge in support for President Bush stems from chad-loving satirists and young people. As one satirist told us “we feared for our jobs under a President Kerry. Bush may not get lots of things right, but that’s good for us, if not the country as a whole.”

The SNL Crew

Meanwhile in Ohio a group of students suggested that they voted for President Bush because “Saturday Night Live wouldn’t be the same without him.”

The final results are expected to be announced in 2016.

Posted by damian at November 03, 2004 01:40 PM | TrackBack
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