Kid Rock today sensationally announced that he will retire from music at the end of the year due to a unique medical condition.

It's understood that Kid Rock - real name - Kid Rock - is a suffering from a rare degenerative disease which means that biologically he is getting younger every day to the extent that soon his body and his mind will be co-aligned. A scary prospect indeed.

Dr RS Hole, editor of the medical journal The Lanced Boil told us this was a very rare disease "effecting one in a billion - where someone is born as an old man or a woman, but where they get younger with every passing day."

This means that someone born on the same day as you or I will eventually be a baby by the time they time, whereas we will be old and grey.

Music commentator Paul Gambachini expressed shock at the news, but told Mr Damian "I suppose his name was a giveaway - it was his cry for help." whilst Radiohead singer Tom "Duke of" Yorke admitted that he'd known about this for years and that their song Kid A had actually been about Kid R(ock).

A degenerative illness, it's not known if this is responsible for the singers terrible dress sense, or the end of his relationship with Pamela Anderson, although he has promised to reveal all on an upcoming Oprah special - provided filming finishes before his bedtime.

At this stage it's not known whether or not his father, The Rock, will also take part in the filming or not. Mr Damian will, like you, therefore have to simply have to watch this space and see what happens.

Father: caught between a stone object and a place harder than his abs

Posted by damian at November 20, 2004 11:10 PM | TrackBack