Police in Richmond are baffled by a series of seemingly random house burglaries that have hit the Virginian city over the Thanksgiving weekend.

Sergeant “Sponge” Bob & Officer Gary, spoke to the press at the downtown precinct earlier today and announced that a masked intruder had broken into “several dozen” houses and taken a range of objects including bikini bottoms and pineapples during the course of the last few days.

What confuses law enforcement officers is that more valuable items such as jewellery, as well as holiday foodstuffs such as cold turkey and cranberry sauce, have gone untouched.

“It’s all very strange” said one crime victim, who wished to remains anonymous, (but who’s real name is Sandy Cheeks,) “whoever did this is either really weird or really twisted – what am I going to do with five bikini tops but no bikini bottoms?”

What indeed.

Police believe that the burglar is likely to be a member of the infamous Krusty Krab Gang, as snail trails and cracked nuts were found in the local vicinity of each individual crime scene.

Artists Impression

So far, the culprit has managed to avoid being spotted by eyewitnesses, with one exception. Based on the description provided by this person, the police have issued the following artists impression featuring the suspect fleeing the scene of his latest felony. Police encourage anyone with any information about this dangerous felon to come forward by contacting them at 1-800-GOTCHA.

Posted by damian at November 29, 2004 09:32 AM | TrackBack