General "Storming" Norman Schwarzkopf is best known to readers of Mr Damian for his role as heading up the Gulf War operation of the early 1990s, Desert Storm, a battle which catapulted him into the public eye and one where he was fortunate to find himself fighting a campaign which had a similar nickname to his own.

After the triumphant expulsion of Saddam Hussein from Kuwait, he retired from military service. It was a tough decision for a man who, by his own confession, had thought of nothing else but the army for forty-five years.

“The Army was my life,” he said at the time, “I loved commanding soldiers and being around people who had made a serious commitment to serve their country, just as I also loved wearing pantyhose and being called Johanna.”

Upon his retirement General Schwarzkopf enjoyed a lucrative career as a pundit for NBC and as a highly paid speaker on the lecture circuit. He also worked alternative weekends at Home Depot and hung out with celebrity friends such as Kevin Spacey and Gary Coleman from Different Strokes.

After his death in 1997, President Clinton requested the General be “stuffed and embalmed to as to inspire future generations.”

His body is currently to be found in the Smithsonian Museum, Washington DC, next to the vending machine by the disabled toilets.

Posted by damian at November 17, 2004 01:50 PM | TrackBack