An Illinois teenager claims God is communicating through him and his orthodontics Mr Damian reports.

Todd Carter, 14, had braces fitted last week and as a result has found that as a result his bite plate has changed, with the result that now everytime he takes a bite of something he finds the face of Jesus staring up at him.

“It was my Mum who spotted it at first,” Todd said, “and at first we couldn’t quite work out what was happening, but then it turned out that we could see the Lord Jesus in everything I ate – not just soft things like apples, but pizza, chocolate and everything else.”

Todd’s Mother, Janet Carter, admitted that from the word go she knew that this was the Lord talking to her through the power of modern day orthodontics.

“I’ve no idea what the Lord is trying to tell us,” she said “it might be Spanish or something, but I know he’s talking and we’re listening, and when we figure it all out we will do his bidding.”

The Carter’s have decided to prepare themselves for this call to action by selling Todd’s half eaten food on eBay to Christians around the world.

God Bites

Critics have argued that this is a cynical way for a poor trailer park family to fund a trip to Orlando and possibly even a college education, but friends of the family attest to the Carter’s godliness.

“It’s no surprise that God is talking to them,” said one neighbour, “they are good people – they were very good to me when my dog died and they go to Church real regular.”

This news comes a few months after a spate of similar incidents, including an impression of the Virgin Mary being found in a cheese sandwich and a New York businessman finding that the cream he poured into his coffee at a diner drew “of its own accord” an image of Christ on the cross. The coffee can still be seen at Table 49 at Mountjoys Bar and Grill on Lexington Avenue, where staff are too fearful to clear the table for fear of divine retribution. Todd Carter’s Democrat voting orthodontist was unavailable for comment, although he is said to think that this whole thing is “fucking messed up.”

The Virgin Mary was quite toastie in her day

Posted by damian at December 18, 2004 06:05 PM | TrackBack