Stories to: story@mrdamian.com
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• Puppet Sooty says "I was a crack whore"
• Star Whores III
• Top Ten Burberry Sex Toys
• Does Fast Food Cause Sleep Wanking?
• Burberry to Sponsor Air Force One
• Mr Damian made an OBE
• Top 10 Ways To Freak People Out In Your Office
• Mr Damian encourages readers to knit jumpers for penguins
• Jackson Moonwalks to Freedom
WAP Site
Mr Damian welcomes in the New Year by looking at the stories we're mostly likely to be telling in 2005.
1: Britney Spears will still be married (but not neccesarily to her current husband)
2: Sharon (Osborne) will be the Prime Minister of Israel
3: Scientists will find a way to use future tsunami's to power the Third World for five years at a time, thereby turning tragedy into triumph
4: Former Python, and National Treasure, Michael Palin to be stuffed and put on a plynth in London's Trafalgar Square
5: UK shoppers still wont have a fucking clue how to use chip and pin
No Clue
6:Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley announce peace in Northern Ireland by singing a duet of 'Up Where We Belong' live on National Television
7: Sean Connery revisits Scotland. Realises it's not all he had cracked it up to be. Relocates to the Bahamas for good
8: Diana Ross to play a concert on the moon - doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary
9: Rock band The Darkness suffer from DVT as a result of overtight spandex
10: Bush finally finishes that book
• Glitter goes down - and this time it's legal
• Official: Westminster Media 'Top of the Tossers'
• A special welcome to David Gilmour fans!
• Mr Damian for weekending 24th February 2006
• This weeks entertainment gossip
• This weeks top music gossip
• Mr Damian for weekending Friday 17th February 2006
• Hot Gossip From The Brits
• Mr Damian for weekending Friday 10th February
• Top Celeb Gossip You'll Want To Tell Your Friends
• Flash threatens to take on Ming in Lib Dem race
• Cartoon Protests Continue
• Subscribe to Mr Damian!
• Mr Damian for weekending Friday 27th January
