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May 04, 2005
New Yorkers told to take it in the shower
Residents of New York City have been asked to take the city's water shortage 'into their own hands'. City manager Yerin Trauble has created a rule that requires that New Yorkers take a least one 'liquid event' in the shower each day to save water. With the average flush wasting 3 gallons of water and with 8 million bladders waiting to be emptied the action seems to be a 'no brainer'. Trabule estimates the potential savings would fill 24 Olympic sized swimming pools every day.
The new rules will be enforced by taking random samples of toe nail clippings from residents. Lab technicians have devised a simple test that can detect the presence of urea in the nail and change colour accordingly. A unintended casualty in these water wars is the much maligned asparagus industry which is set to loose $40M each year due to the new regulations. The mayor has banned consumption of the vegetable on the grounds that, as a scientist put it, 'It makes your pee smell really bad'. There are substantiated fears that the effects of noxious smelling traders on Wall St. could easily cause the fragile stock market to collapse. The effervescent Mr Trauble was quoted as saying 'We really thought outside the bowl on this one'. Quite.
Times Square - an asparagus free zone |
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