The Big Bad Wolf had neither the lung capacity nor the ingenuity to blow the house down a leading scientist claimed today.

Reginald Foreskin, an American scientist from Nevada, has spent the last four years in a laboratory seeking to prove the validity of an insurance claim made by three little pigs.

His findings show beyond reasonable doubt that the pigs story - which has enjoyed worldwide press coverage - is little more than a fabrication.

Dr Foreskin, who regularly undertakes paid work by insurance companies to test the validity of claims told Mr Damian how we had over the last 48 months 'constructed hundreds of houses from a variety of different building materials' and worked with 'literally dozens of wolves' in order to test the authenticity and likelihood of the claim.

In each instance, the house stood firm and the wolves seemed more interested in howling at the moon and reading Jack London novels.

'I'm afraid they're story fell down like a pack of cards' the good Dr told us, 'which is more than can be said for their house. Whatever happened there, I can't see that wolves were the culprits.'

Rumours now point to a failed high school chemistry experiment, a faulty domestic gas appliance or woodworm.

The Department for Homeland Security has said that 'it cannot be ruled out that the pigs were part of a terrorist cell, and that their bomb making plans just simply went wrong.'

It's understood that the Three Little Pigs will appeal, even though they have little grounds in which to do so.

Lying Pigs

Posted by damian at June 03, 2005 01:27 PM