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July 24, 2005
Paris blamed for massive dust cloud
An enormous, white cloud of dust is blowing across the United States, and meteorologists claim that Paris Hilton could be to blame. Weather watchers do not expect much effect beyond colorful sunsets and cloudier skies, although some areas may notice a drop in temperature. The cloud nearly the size of the continental United States is already working its way across Washington State, and should reach the East coast by the end of the week before vapourising when it heads across the Atlantic Ocean. Initially scientists were puzzled as to the origins of the giant white cloud, speculating that it may have come from Asia, but this was dismissed after it was revealed that Paris Hilton had suffered a giant sneezing fit whilst visiting a Starbucks in Seattle.
Eye witnesses reported a huge cloud of white dust eminating from the heiresses nose which shortly enveloped the coffee shop and surrounding blocks. 'It was quite a sight' one of them told us. Such dust clouds are not uncommon, especially at this time of year. Last year a giant sneeze by Mariah Carey plunged South Dakota into darkness for nearly a week, the high pitched warbler having had a similar effect on most of Western Europe whilst she was on tour there in the early 90s.
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