In a move to increase productivity, hi tech company Hewlett Packard today told Mr Damian that it would be announcing tomorrow the introduction of vending machines in staff toilet cubicles across the US.

Announcing the move, Communications Director John Hewlett commented that '25% of our staff reguarly have their lunch on the can, this way 100% of staff have that option'.

HP staff are expected to 'work, rest and dump' all at the same time

The move comes hot on the heels of an independent scientific survey which reported that the typical office desk contained more germs and bacteria than the average office toilet.

Prospects
Alluding to the study Mr Hewlett also referred to the move as being 'good for the health of staff and good for the health of the company, as it will allow staff to multi-task in a manner always previously possible, but never previously encouraged'.

The HP initiative follows similar proposals introduced by both Microsoft and Google in recent months which have also aimed to improve the productivity of staff at a time of economic uncertainty and pressure.

Google have famously offerred staff the option of having their desk chair replaced by a porclean toilet, with many staff taking them up on the offer. One Search Engine staffer told us 'I'm always at my most productive when my trousers are round my ankles.'

Search this!

Good vibrations
Meanwhile staff working on a secret new adult version of the X-Box, the XXX-Box, are strapped into specially vibrating chairs which send a steady electric current through them in order to build muscle strength and definition without even having to leave their desk.

At present such initiatives have yet to be introduced outside the US, but business analysts are already stating that this is 'just a matter of time'.

Posted by damian at October 23, 2005 09:23 AM