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October 30, 2005
Bush seeks US top court nominee close to home
As was widely reported earlier this week, Harriet Miers the Texas lawyer controversially nominated to the US Supreme Court by President George W Bush, has withdrawn her application, leaving the White House scratching their heads for a replacement. Mr Damian reports exclusively on some closed door discussions. Ms Miers, who had served as White House counsel for Mr Bush but had no judicial experience and a number of outstanding parking tickets. Following her withdrawl the President has moved swiftly to avoid any potential embarassment and to ensure that another suitable candidate can be proposed - and put in post - as quickly as possible. Wet As a result, it's no surprise that President Bush has done as he usual does in this situation - looking close to home for the solution. Mr Damian understands that in the past few days Mr Bush's brother - the Florda Governor, Jed - and his Mother, Barbara, have each been approached about the job. Oranges & Lemons As a result, Mr Bush's options are limited, and so he's turned to his best friend, Barney Bush to come to his rescue. Barney, the President's Scottish Terrier, was born on September 30, 2000. Although just four years old, Barney has 'a wealth of judicial and philosophical knowledge' said one staffer.
The mood on the Hill though seems to be open minded - 'it's a dog eat dog world out there' said one critic. Barney was unavailable for comment as he was busy licking his own gentalia at the time.
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