The entire membership of the UK's third largest parliamentary political party, the Liberal Democrats, announced they were gay last night, during a private meeting with Mr Damian on Hampstead Heath.

The announcement follows recent announcements by senior MPs Simon Hughes and Mark Oaten that they'd had homosexual relations in the past. Now it seems, the rest of the party is following suit, admitting to a series of same sex dalliances at various points in the past.

Campbell admitted being a tosser at school

This revelation once again unifies a party which looked in danger of self destructing following the resignation of its alcoholic leader Charles Kennedy earlier this month. Leadership contender Ming 'The Merciless' Campbell admitted he'd tossed off, and been tossed off, a few times as a young lad. 'It was all entirely healthy and makes me well suited to run the country,' the sprightly Scot said.

Privately staffers for both Prime Minister Tony Blair and Tory leader David Cameron are urging their leaders to stress their family man credentials but at the same time stress their empathy with the gay population.

'It shouldn't be hard for either of them to position themselves this way,' Simon Haggled told us. 'They both went to public schools, and we all know what happens there, and they've both got wives and children. Blair and Cameron have always been all things to all men politically, now they can be sexually as well.'

Posted by damian at January 27, 2006 01:18 PM